1. Alabama
I'm literally running out of things to say about this team.
2. Auburn
This is going to be a good Iron Bowl. There are decent odds that it will be the de facto SEC West title game this year. So which one is really THE GAME OF THE CENTURY?
3. LSU
They're a noisy third wheel in the SEC West race, but unless they beat Alabama this weekend, they are going to remain nothing more than a third wheel.
4. Texas A&M
Nothing will help you feel better about your defense than a Conference USA team who's only win is against New Mexico State.
5. South Carolina
They consistently misuse the best offensive player on the team, draw mindless penalties and generally refuse to step on the throat of overwhelmed opponents. And yet it's improbable that they'll win fewer than nine games and still possible they could go to the SEC Championship Game. I'm sure there are more bizarre teams in the country right now, but I'm struggling to come up with any.
6. Missouri
All they need is to beat Kentucky and have a Georgia win against Auburn, and they're golden.
7. Georgia
Won the World's Largest Outdoor Sloptail Party to stay in the hunt for the SEC East.
8. Ole Miss
They will almost certainly end up 8-4 and could end up 9-3. And that's still not likely to get them much higher than seventh in the SEC. But it's not a deep league at all, the critics tell us.
9. Florida
There's a yawning gap between Ole Miss and Florida right now. This is now essentially a functional defense with a dead limb they call an offense dragging behind it.
10. Vanderbilt
The Commodores have not lost two games in a row this year and now go to Florida after having lost to Texas A&M. That's gotta change, right?
11. Tennessee
This team is basically Kentucky with hope.
12. Mississippi State
A train wreck of a team. South Carolina basically just sat back and allowed the Bulldogs to implode this weekend.
13. Arkansas
They actually gave Auburn more of a game than I expected them to. That was an exceptionally low bar.
14. Kentucky
HEY LOOK THERE'S BASKETBALL BEING PLAYED IN LEXINGTON.