The Senior Bowl is coming up on Saturday, and naturally, most scouts aren't very concerned with the outcome of the game itself. They're more interested in things like the weigh in, where players get sized up off campus for the first time. It's the first chance to find out their actual heights and weights, as opposed to the often tweaked numbers that colleges put out.
Here is one collection of the measureables from this year's weigh in, but as a bonus, it comes with impressions of players physiques too. Did you know that Greg McElroy has a "decent upper-body with a sturdy frame"? Or that Derrick Locke is "small with average tone and definition"? If not, you probably could have guessed. Those are two of the more mundane descriptions, though.
Boise State's Titus Young gets an appraisal of "thin with no definition. Goofy gait. Small chicken-like legs." What about Florida State's Rodney Hudson? "Squatty with thick midsection and manboobs." Ugh. Notre Dame's Ian Williams: "Fireplug who is thick and solid with bubble butt." I don't even know if that's good or bad.
It's more than a bit unsettling to go through and read all the descriptions of these players, but this is apparently what passes for scouting these days. It's not for nothing that people call the scouting process on all levels a meat market.
The best of it all is the descriptions for the kickers and punters. After looking at all these "massive," "big," and "toned" athletes, what kind of verbiage do the specialists get?
Nebraska's Alex Henery: "Ordinary person. Looks like a computer geek."
Florida's Chas Henry: "Tall with a goofy awkward build."
LSU's Josh Jasper: "Looks like a grocery store stock boy."
Ouch, man.