It's hard for anything to top a day with Steve Spurrier, especially when Kevin Sumlin comes along too, but we soldier on with SEC Media Days as best as we can. Here is who's up today.
10:30 am ET: Gary Pinkel
In the 2001 Ocean's Eleven remake, Brad Pitt's character gives Matt Damon's character some last minute advice before going on a scouting mission:
You look down, they know you're lying and up, they know you don't know the truth. Don't use seven words when four will do. Don't shift your weight, look always at your mark but don't stare, be specific but not memorable, be funny but don't make him laugh. He's got to like you then forget you the moment you've left his side.
He could have saved time by saying, "be Gary Pinkel at a press conference". Granted I haven't seen a ton of him speak before Mizzou joined the league, but I can't say I remember anything specific about a Pinkel press event. He's fine. He doesn't go on forever. He'll use some humor, but it won't be jokey. He'll answer most questions, but when he ducks them, it's not in a notable way. And, in the end, you won't remember much of anything.
The players Pinkel brought along are Maty Mauk, Markus Golden, and Evan Boehm.
12:10 pm ET: Bill Hancock
No, Kentucky didn't change coaches again. Bill Hancock is the former executive director of the BCS and is currently the executive director of the College Football Playoff. He's presumably there to explain how things are going to work with the upcoming new system.
I don't expect anything notable to come out of his mouth during his media time, though. Everything that they've figured out about the system is already public knowledge and available on the CFP website. There are major things we don't know, but they pertain to how the selection committee dynamic will play out. We simply won't know that until the committee has run through a season. If you aren't well versed in how the system will work, this might be worth your time. If you've been keeping up all along, feel free to skip it.
2:00 pm ET: Les Miles
The players Miles brought along are La'el Collins, Terrence Magee, and D.J. Welter.
3:30 pm ET: Bret Bielema
This slot is our best chance to get something really juicy. Miles will be Miles, but he's self aware enough at this point that his totally wacky asides and ramblings kind of come off as a little rehearsed. He knows what people expect of him, and he'll deliver it.
Bielema is a different story. You'd think he'd find someone to help him with his delivery by now, but nope. He has a unique ability to say even the most uncontroversial things in a way that inflames others, and him talking about insignificant matters feels like he thinks he's trying to introduce a new Theory of Everything. He's one to catch live because, even though the troll-y bits will come through in the transcripts, it's an experience to hear someone explain linebacker depth and somehow feel personally offended.
The players Bielema brought along are Trey Flowers, Brey Cook, and Alan Turner.
6:00 pm ET: Movie Night With SEC Network
This really is on the schedule. I'm going to assume that all of the media will come to a ballroom in their jammies and sleeping bags to catch the feature. I'm guessing it's going to be one of ESPN's SEC Storied documentaries.
But Disney owns ESPN, so you never know, it could be the Mouse's ubiquitous smash hit Frozen. If so, hopefully someone will get a video of Clay Travis and Mike Bianchi singing "Love is an Open Door" to each other.