A Spring Practice Report for Every Team

Here are some notes from spring practice for the team you root for. Yes, this is for your team and no others.

• Head Coach is pleased with the effort from most players, but there are a few who are falling short. "If these guys aren't careful, they'll find themselves on the sidelines a lot this fall. We can't have any loafers on this team," he said after practice yesterday.
• If there is a major concern for Head Coach, it's discipline. "We had way too many flags in the last scrimmage: guys not lining up right, guys on the line jumping. It's real disappointing. I thought these guys knew how to play football, but they're proving us wrong right now."
• Quarterback play has been merely OK, not great. "Starting Gunslinger has got most of his throws down," explained Offensive Coordinator. "We're really working a lot on timing and footwork right now. We're not always on the same page, and that has to change."
• The defense is ahead of the offense right now, according to Defensive Coordinator. "We're kind of having to call off the dogs some in order to give the offense a chance to really practice their sets. It's not fun to do that, but it's a nice problem to have."
• The staff is really excited about Standout Freshman. "This guy was high on our boards, and I'm just so glad we could land him. He plays like a veteran out there. I wish we had ten more of him coming in," gushed Head Coach.
• They're also really high on Wideout Fullofpotential. He only caught eight passes last fall and mostly played on special teams, but he's reportedly catching everything thrown to him so far. "He's going to be our breakout player, you watch," said Wide Receivers Coach. "He's going to do some great things for us this fall."
• One area of concern is injuries on the offensive line. "We're a bit beat up right now," lamented Offensive Line Coach. "I'm not sure if we'll have the numbers to do two separate lines in the spring game." Starting Center is being held out of contact drills right now, while Backup Guard is out for the spring with a strained shoulder.
• On the defensive side, the back seven is a real area of concern. "We're going to be seeing a lot of spread teams this fall," said Defensive Backs Coach. "We have to get better or else we're going to get burned." After continued disappointing play out of cornerback Fourstar Bust, the staff is trying him out at the nickel position.
• The linebacking play isn't where it needs to be either. Veteran Boomlayer has his position locked down, but the others are in flux. Reading in between the lines of the quotes, the coaches are scared to death that they might have to rely on Converted Safety playing a sizable number of snaps.
• The line is doing well, at least. "Fatman Runstuffer is spending a lot of time in the backfield, which is what we like to see," said Defensive Line Coach. "Speedrusher End is overrunning on a lot of plays, but we'll get that straightened out. Overall I like what I'm seeing." Defensive Line Coach was noncommittal when asked if the offensive line injuries are helping out his players.
• Head Coach did want to make a point of singling out Plucky Walkon. "He's a local kid whose dream has always been to play here," said Head Coach. "He's done everything we've asked of him, and he's pushing some of these four, six, seven, whatever star guys for playing time." He predicted that fans will get to know his name by season's end*.
• Strength Coach is most excited about the end of spring practice, to be perfectly honest. "I can't wait for these guys to be all mine once this is over," he said with a crazed look in his eye. "It's going to be a fun summer, let me tell you."

*He will play only three snaps in the November game against a I-AA opponent.