SEC 2015: Here Is UGA's Schedule, and Its Results

Eeeeeeeeveryone is picking Georgia to win the SEC East, which everyone should, because Georgia will. Here is how things will play out:

Game One (UL Monroe) -- For a season at least, Georgia resumes the long-held FBS tradition of scheduling a not-so-good team, so that your kind-of good or good, team can win with ease and get looks for even third-stringers; a scrimmage, if you will, except it actually counts towards the teams' records. If you're reading ULM's name and are all like "wait, isn't that the team, who --" yes, that is them, the same team who beat Arky once, nearly beat Auburn after, and has given a fright to a several teams throughout the sunbelt  -- the actual region, and not the conference, of which, ULM plays in -- over the years. But those days are over, and Georgia will beat ULM, and in a fashion so impressive, folks will wonder if the Bulldogs weren't a bit under-ranked to start the year. (1-0)

Game Two (Vanderbilt) -- When predicting Vandy's season, I then said the Commodores would somehow, miraculously, win this football contest. Vanderbilt. Over Georgia. I said that. I take it back. (2-0)

Game Three (South Carolina) -- On paper, Georgia is way better than Carolina. Way better. Way, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay better. But the whole trend of Carolina -- whilst lead by Steve Spurrier, of course -- playing the Dawgs tight, even when it's not supposed to, will continue this season. Down by one, Carolina will have a chance to win the game on a last-second field goal. It will miss, lose and send Sanford into a frenzy. (3-0)

Game Four (Southern -- as in Southern University, not Georgia Southern) -- LOL, next. (4-0)

Game Five (Alabama) -- Alabama is probably better than Georgia as a whole, but not by much, and Alabama may still be addressing some offensive issues at this juncture; Georgia is also very likely very tired of losing to Alabama. (It's only two losses in a row, but still, they were kind of significant.) Anyway, Bama hasn't been to Athens in almost a decade, and Georgia fans are already making a big deal out of this one because Alabama's name carries with it some major cachet, and it is finally coming to play their beloved Bulldogs in Athens. Friends of mine who went to, or are fans of, Georgia, say ticket prices for this one reached unearthly levels some time ago. But a big deal was made out of Bama's last trip to The Classic City also ... uh ohhhh ... jk, jk. Georgia will win, late. (5-0)

Game Six (Tennessee) -- A bye week would've been nice following that rather monumental win over Bama; but alas, the Dawgs are thrust right back into action, and on the road against a team brimming with potential, and over whom Georgia has had to eke out wins over during the past few seasons. This will be a tight game, but the Dawgs will falter in overtime. (5-1)

Game Seven (Missouri) -- Georgia, pissed off mightily from its previous week's performance, will beat Mizzou. Not quite the 34-0 ass-kicking it gave the Tigers last season, but something more reasonable, like 31-3. The Georgia running backs will rush for, like, a combined 600 yards or something. (6-1)

Game Eight (Florida) -- I was at The Vitamin Shoppe the other day, and I was wearing a Florida hoodie. The guy at the counter, apparently a proud Georgia fan, said "We're gonna kick Florida's ass this year!" He's right. (7-1)

Game Nine (Kentucky) -- Though Kentucky is poised to scare its share of teams this season, the Bulldogs have beaten the Cats by a combined score of 122-48 over the past two seasons. This one may start off close, but it won't end that way. (8-1)

Game Ten (Auburn) -- If this game wasn't on the road, and Georgia had a bit more talent on its defensive back end, I might've, might've, might've, picked the Dawgs to win this one. But what will start as an offensive shootout will end pretty badly for the red and black. (8-2)

Game Eleven (GA Southern) -- Oh, here's Georgia Southern! Hey now, this one could be fun! With Georgia now seemingly out of playoff contention, the Dawgs will be down. But fret not, Georgia fans, your team won't completely throw in the towel against the Eagles -- like another unnamed SEC school may or may not have done a couple years back -- but it will be a fun, for a bit, at least. (9-2)

Game Twelve (Georgia Tech) -- Aw man, I'm sorry UGA fans, but I'm alllll aboard the Tech bandwagon for 2015. Yes, the fact that it's being played at Bobby Dodd means nothing essentially, but still, Justin Thomas, man. If he's healthy, Tech wins, end of story. (9-3)

Game Thirteen (SEC Championship) -- No matter who wins the SEC East -- which, 100% will be Georgia -- for the sixth season in a row, winning such means nothing more than a chance to lay claim to second place in the conference. (9-4)

Week After (Heisman Ceremony) -- Nick Chubb comes really, really close to becoming Georgia's third Heisman winner, but, like his team, settles for second. He will win the Doak Walker, if that's any consolation.

Game Fourteen (Michigan State, Outback Bowl) -- By the time this game rolls around, the Dawgs will have played a hell of a schedule; even with the time off, they'll be beaten up and tired. But, as the case was for their nine previous wins, that solid offensive front, and the one-two punch of All-SEC performers Chubb and Sony Michel, and that defensive front seven that has something like three All-SEC players (Jordan Jenkins, Leonard Floyd and Lorenzo Carter), will lead UGA to a dubbya, and yet another double-digit win season. Yes, Georgia fans are kind of tired of piling up all these wins and ultimately having nada to show for it, but there are worse fates. This was set up to be a good year, but it was never going to be the year; but man, with SEC All-Freshmen Terry Godwin, Roquan Smith and Trenton Thompson flashing their potential in 2015, and Jacob freakin' Eason soon en route to Athens, good times are coming,SEC y'all. Just be patient. (10-4)