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Sprints Hopes Harvey Updyke's Sentence Includes Watching the Final Tree-Rolling // 02.04.13

All the news that's fit to make fun of -- or not, in some cases -- from the end of the oaks at Toomer's Corner to the consistency issues in Austin

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Harvey Updyke wins the battle, but fandom will likely win the war
The oaks at Toomer's Corner are coming down. That's not really a shock after Harvey Updyke did everything short of napalming them in an act that horrified even most Alabama fans.

But there's still hope of a sort; the university says it will landscape the area and find another way for fans to roll the corner in some way.

"We want people to be upbeat about the future of this area," Shaw said. "Rolling the corner is a uniquely Auburn tradition, and whether we roll trees or other structures, the camaraderie and sense of togetherness is part of what makes Auburn a special place."

In a way, Updyke made the classical mistake that some villains make in old television shows or movies: He forgot that things are not what makes celebrations like the rolling of the oaks work. What makes those celebrations so special to people is the act of celebrating and of joining with their fellow fans in that celebration.

Updyke won whatever delusional battle he thought he was fighting, but the spirit of fandom that all sports fans share will win the war.

Texas A&M's inaugural SEC Fulmer Cup points?
Kirby Ennis has a gun and likes showing it to people, allegedly even if it violates state law to do so.

For the defense: Mike Hamilton
In case you missed our series of RTs late last week, Mike Hamilton has spoken out in defense of his business practices at Tennessee. Which is hard for anyone who hired Lane Kiffin to do.

There's going to be a tornado warning next year at a Kentucky football game
At least, that's the most I can tell from this UK commercial that aired in some markets during the Super Bowl.

(HT: Clay)

TV schedule for baseball announced [PDF]
And it's a pretty lengthy one. Kentucky and Florida kick things off in March; the first Thursday night game is Texas A&M against South Carolina.

Things are getting messy again in Austin
It's amazing to watch the S.S. Mack Brown continue to take on various kinds of water in Austin, Tex., but the latest mistake appears to be as much the fault of DeLodss Dodds and other university higher-ups as it is that of the erstwhile Longhorns' football head coach. For example, here's what Patti Ohlendorf, a university executive, told CNN last month about track coach Bev Kearney's relationship with an athlete.

But it's not the type of thing that can happen between a coach and a student-athlete on the team.

Well, it seems like Texas isn't totally and completely consistent on that kind of thing. It turns out there might be a difference between a student-athlete and a student trainer, and that it might not be a firing offense to have an affair with the latter. We know that because Major Applewhite had an affair with the latter and remains well-compensated by the University of Texas.

The problem is that Kearney is likely going to file a lawsuit against the university saying that she was treated differently as a woman than male coaches who had similar issues -- because, yeah.

But at least the Texas regents are on the case. They met about this over the weekend. And took no action beyond a "review" of university policies.

Caltech baseball wins for the first time in almost 10 years
Including a quote by first-year head coach Matthew Mark. I'm guessing there's probably a reason why he's a first-year head coach.