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Sprints Doesn't Type as Fast as Bobby Petrino // 04.12.12

'No, see, first you have to get the athletics director to say he hopes you don't fire him ... '
'No, see, first you have to get the athletics director to say he hopes you don't fire him ... '


There are shoes that we all really ought to hope don't drop
Reporters covering the Arkansas story, please know when we don't want to know any more. Particularly when talking about communications between Bobby Petrino and Jessica Dorrell.

The messages, among some 300 pages of records released under a Freedom of Information Act request, appear to include picture and video files, though there was no way to verify the content.

I think I speak for us all when I say: I have absolutely no desire to know what is in those messages. Oh, and Houston Nutt ain't got nothing on Petrino when it comes to texting with ESS EEE SEE SPEED.

Petrino exchanged 91 texts with Dorrell on Sept. 13 and 84 texts with her over five hours on Oct. 28, the day before a game at Vanderbilt.

That's text roughly every 3.5 minutes. I admit that I'm not a big texter and never had nor planning on having an affair, so my perspective might be a bit out of sync here. But even for someone with whom you're in a relationship, doesn't that seem like a little bit much?

Bo Pelini is out (sorta)
I should make clear that I don't think that Nebraska's Bo Pelini, who called rumors that he might be in the running for the Arkansas job "ludicrous," is anything remotely close to a serious candidate to end up in Fayetteville. So this is almost 99 percent certain to be nothing. But this really does look to my eyes like a non-denial denial.

"I always say, this is a destination job. This isn't a steppingstone job," Pelini said. "People throw names out there. At the end of the day, we're focused on trying to win a championship here. That's all I'm concerned with."

Again, if this were a quote from Garrick McGee, I'd go ahead and start the research for our post when he was named head coach at Arkansas. Which is what makes it so odd. But it's probably absolutely nothing.

Lot of that going around
Skip Holtz is also declining to rule out the Arkansas job while attempting to look like he's ruling out the Arkansas job.

"It's flattering your name is floating around, but right now we have a job to do here. We're in the middle of spring ball and I don't want any distractions with his team as we're building this thing."

You know, it's not that hard to just say "no" if there's nothing to it.

'Have not spoken to anyone' or 'Have not spoken to anyone other than agents'?

And we have an early front-runner for most insensitive Bobby Petrino story
Welcome to the SEC y'all.


Some good news
Shon Coleman is back on the field for Auburn and his cancer is in remission. Words cannot express how grateful I am for this story after the last week or so.

Urban Meyer confirms the Sporting News article
Sure, he didn't actually say that the article was an accurate recounting of his time at Florida. But the ways that Meyer attacked the article -- knocking its intent and saying that Meyer hasn't committed any NCAA violations at Ohio State -- is pretty much a confirmation. If you can't deny a report because it's true, than those are the oldest two tricks in the PR bag.

Billy Gonzales denies he was choked by Percy Harvin
Which he could have done when Sporting News first called him instead of saying it was "overblown" and an attempt to be heard.

"In response to a recent story alleging an incident between Percy Harvin and me and while at Florida, the story is inaccurate," he said in the statement. "It didn't happen."

There's a lot of wiggle room in that statement -- but my energy for keeping up with a story about things that happened more than a year ago (or well over that, in this case) is really starting to fade.

Andy Kennedy gets another year with the Ole Miss basket-ball team
Seems the NCAA tournament isn't all it's cracked up to be.

I guess this is encouraging
Ladies and gentlemen, your starting center for the Alabama Crimson Tide:

Asked what his completion percentage was for getting the ball perfectly in quarterback AJ McCarron's hands, Jones said it was "95ish."

So, you know, that's only a bobbled snap every other game or so.

They could always move a few quarterbacks around
An offensive lineman and a tight end bid Vanderbilt adieu.

Just make sure none of the contractors takes a Texas jersey to work
The Aggies are getting ready to upgrade their football stadium.

Worth every penny?
Alabama spent $3.9 million to go to the national championship game. It still puzzles me why a team would have to bring north of 770 people to a football game, but it certainly isn't cheap to do so.