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Sprints Regrets the Whole 'Memphis to the SEC' Thing // 10.11.11

Not -- I repeat, NOT -- joining the SEC in the next few days. At least not that we're aware of
Not -- I repeat, NOT -- joining the SEC in the next few days. At least not that we're aware of


We broke the Googles
Allow us a moment of navel-gazing here at the top of Sprints, if for no other reason than the fact that the story is slightly amusing. As you all know, we do parodies of realignment news from time to time, mostly as a way to break up the depressing reality of writing about realignment during the actual season and as a sort of fun commentary about the ridiculousness of the things that actually are happening. So when I wrote a humorous and completely fictional post about Memphis being accepted as a member of the SEC, I didn't really give it a second thought.

And then this happened.


Yes, for a time at least, the top result on Google News for "memphis sec" was a story headlined "Memphis Application Accepted as SEC's 14th Member," which was meant to be a joke for all of us to enjoy. The insanity should have ended there -- but at least one person in the world still was not in on the joke.


Yep, that's a Memphis fan who apparently thought the story was or at least could be true. Because an inebriated Mike Slive announcing Memphis' membership in the SEC is that plausible. And maybe it almost is, which is the point at which we know we've gone through the looking glass of conference realignment.

So, to clarify for those who are not familiar with this site's sometimes whimsical take on the subject: No, Memphis has not been accepted as a member of the SEC. At least not yet.

For the rest of us, perhaps it should serve as a lesson for how conference realignment rumors can get started. Even if you're not trying to do anything more than have a few laughs.

What started the whole thing
R.C. Johnson actually said the words that you are about to read. About Memphis, the school where he serves as athletics director.

"Ultimately we would like to be in the SEC. That's where we think we belong geographically. We think we deserve to be."

Yes, Memphis has done such a good job being a terrible football program in Conference USA that it deserves a promotion to being a terrible football program in the SEC. Or perhaps you could do something like win that conference before you go trying to move to the big leagues. Just a thought.

Mike Bianchi's dream come true?
The Big East is headed to 12 teams -- well, assuming that it can find 12 teams that want to be members of the Big East. Mike Bianchi will start his campaign in 3... 2...


'The emotion got the better of me'
There's something wrong when that phrase is being uttered by a college football player in reference to a penalty that took points off the board. After all, isn't that supposed to be what makes college football so great? Isn't that what makes it different than the NFL, which too often seems like 100 individuals doing their jobs as opposed to playing a game?

College football is supposed to be about emotion and passion, and if the coaches and the NCAA literati can't deal with that, then they need to get away from my sport. Should taunting be a penalty? Yes, because it can lead to an escalating situation that results in an injury.[para] But no one should lose the only chance for a college touchdown in his life because "the emotion got the better of me." The fact that the phrase was ever uttered is a tragedy.

Nick Saban doesn't have time for this taunting penalty ...
But he does say that he would blame the player.

Who will start for Florida at quarterback Saturday? It depends on who is less injured
Year2 probably wishes that I were kidding there, but it's true. Will Muschamp essentially said that Jacoby Brissett would be the starter for the Auburn game, unless Jeff Driskel's sprained ankles is up to it. Maybe.

Just what Mississippi State's offense needed to hear
Looks like Melvin Ingram could be back in time for South Carolina's game against the Western Division Bulldogs. I'm sure Dan Mullen is thrilled about that.

Mike Stoops out
Which is both surprising and not really all that surprising. After all, Arizona is a dreadful team this year. Then again, Arizona used to be a dreadful team every year before Stoops took over.

The stated reasons -- including the ridiculous idea that a midseason firing somehow "addressed [problems] in the short term for our 22 seniors" -- are ridiculous. Which leads to the conspiracy theory for why this might be relevant for SEC fans.

There are two programs, Ole Miss and Kentucky, who are very likely to be looking for new head coaches after this season, and this could be an effort to get the jump on those two and other potential programs in need of a coach after the season is over. Particularly for the services of a certain litigious, sword-swinging former head coach.