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Sprints Is Back In Action // 05.03.10

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You can't get rid of me that easily
After surviving one of the most bizarre legislative sessions in Florida in recent memory -- to give you an idea, the governor decided before this one was even over that he wasn't a Republican anymore (at least not for the purpose of running for the U.S. Senate) -- I have returned. At least until the seemingly inevitable special session in June. I would like to thank Year2 for more than covering for me during the absence and you, dear reader, for understanding why the real world sometimes intrudes on the fun that is blogging. To the news.

Calipari not losing Final Four appearance for academics ... yet
As much as I'd like to simply point out that Kentucky head coach and noted humanitarian John Calipari is leading his team to recent lows in academic performance ... well, the expert has a point here.

"I'm always sort of surprised when people quote bad graduation rates and say, 'Isn't this awful?' " Sperber said. "It's a product of a complicated system. Rather than being awful, it's almost inevitable."

Which is to say that the system is broken and needs to be fixed. Which is to say something that we all already knew. But Calipari cited "privacy concerns" as a reason to not discuss a topic that the university president and senior associate athletics director did comment on. So there's something. Hahahahahaha Calipari hahahahahaha.

Friends don't like friends park drunk
Or something like that. LSU center T-Bob Hebert -- who has one of your humble correspondent's favorite names in the league -- couldn't even make it out of the parking lot before he drew the attention of campus police.

LSU police Sgt. Blake Tabor says Hebert was leaving a campus event when he backed into a parked car early Saturday morning.

His blood-alcohol level was, not surprisingly, in excess of the legal limit.

If he throws footballs as well as he throws laptops ...
Cameron Newton is the new starting quarterback at Auburn.

Would Kentucky really do that much better in the Big Ten?
It's good to see that the author of this -- um -- interesting thought exercise admits that "it would take a hearty degree of foolhardiness to even suggest" that the Wildcats should bolt for the Big Ten. Sure, Kentucky would probably do somewhat better in a slower conference, but it's not like they've recently been one or two games away from being in a divisional conversation in the SEC. (Even a school like South Carolina could say that in 2005, for example.) Could Kentucky really win enough additional games to win the Big Ten? Call me skeptical.

Cory Reamer is a Jet
Condolences can be sent to ... Oh, this is a good thing. Okay, then. Congratulations to Reamer.

Dicky Lyons Jr. might be playing football again soon
This is a good thing for anyone who likes amusing stories from your football players.