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Sprints Thinks Its Opponent is a Punk // 09.22.09

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Can't we all just get along? Mike Slive might want to think about issue a new edict against talking about one's fellow coaches, maybe with the penalty being thrown into a vat of boiling oil. Because the old one is working so well.

Urban Meyer's response to Florida's underwhelming performance against a team that might welcome Jake Delhomme as its starting quarterback?

"When I saw them start handing the ball off, you didn’t feel like they were going after the win," he said. "I remember looking out there, there’s 10 minutes left in the game, there’s no no-huddle, they’re down by 23-6, and no urgency." ...

"It was unbelievable," Meyer told Thamel. "They were taking their time snapping the ball when they could go win the game. There was no two-minute drill."

Of course, Boy Wonder took the high road. Or at least pretended to.

"I’d say this. This offseason the (SEC) commissioner (Mike Slive) made a big deal about our renewal of vows about what we’re supposed to say about other teams, other coaches, other players.

"Obviously, Urban feels he doesn’t need to follow that. I won’t say anything else."

No one ever accused Kiffin of a lack of audacity, but this one really does shine even among his ridiculous statements. There's not even an indication of self-awareness that it was, in fact, mostly Kiffin's running of the mouth and other coaches' responses to it that prompted Slive to call for decorum. And there's a lack of awareness that, when one says "I won't say anything else," it's best to not say anything else.

Meyer said a flu outbreak among several key players adversely affected Florida’s performance against UT.

Asked if he was concerned about flu striking Tennessee, Kiffin said:

"I don’t know. I guess we’ll wait and see, and after we’re not excited about our performance, we’ll tell you that everybody was sick."

But here's a sign of progress for Tennessee: The most boorish comments by a coach this week didn't come from Kiffin at all, but from Louisville coach Steve Kragthorpe about Trevard Lindley.

Kragthorpe was asked about Lindley after UK's 31-27 win over Louisville Saturday and said, "We weren't scared of that guy. We were going after his a**."

No, Kragthorpe was not talking about Lindley's iPhone app, if you're wondering. Rich Brooks chose not to go with his favorite eight-letter expletive and instead dish out a more substantive response.

"It's amazing how people can pound their chests for going after a good player. All-Pro cornerbacks get beat for touchdowns. I just hope people keep going after Trevard Lindley. Keep pounding your chests and go after him."

It should be noted here that Kragthorpe will be lucky to get another chance to do so the way things are going in the Ville.

It may be necessary to destroy the season in order to save it
Florida could try to jump-start its offense by asking Tim Tebow to carry the ball more. And he could get injured doing so, which would basically end the Gators' dreams for anything more than a spot in the Music City Bowl if it happened in the next few weeks.

A source of comfort for Gamecock fans
Tyrone Nix is the man preparing Ole Miss to play defense against a running quarterback.

What might make that even more comforting?
If their own defense was in one piece.

Julio Jones and Roy Upchurch appear to be back
They returned to practice and should be playing against Arkansas. So the over-under should now be at, what, 130?

Because it's worked so well in the past
Vanderbilt considers embracing the two-quarterback system. Again.

Johnson said that he thought about going with backup Mackenzi Adams every once in awhile, but "Larry [Smith] would sit in there and throw a good pass and somebody would (drop) it on the ground."

Doing The Apprentice is somewhat amusing. This ...
Herschel Walker's latest career move? Mixed martial arts.

"MMA fighters are said to be some of the best athletes in the world," Walker said in the release. "My plan at the age of 47 is to show the world I am still one of the best athletes as well."

Walker, who won a Heisman Trophy at Georgia in 1982 and then played professional football for 15 years, holds a fifth-degree black belt in tae kwon do and has been trained in muay thai and kenpo.

I think this officially qualifies as "jumping the shark."