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Sprints-ish // 03.30.09

A late return from the southeastern portion of Florida leaves me little time to do much, but here are a few headlines that should not be missed. Full blogging resumes late Monday/early Tuesday ...

Kentucky + Names. ESPN has John Calipari interested in the UK job, and UK interested in him. I understand Big Blue Nation's interest, but Calipari's puzzles me. You have a good chance to go to the tournament every year at Memphis without the instant pressure that comes with having the most closely scrutinized job in the sport. But then I'm a college football fan, so maybe I just don't understand such things. (HT: A Sea of Blue)

Rick Pitino has a few ideas, which is probably a polite way of declining interest in the job. One of his choices is at an SEC school, and the other could be en route to one even without an offer from the Wildcats.

I would have immediately hired either John Pelphrey and Travis Ford last time around. Here is my reason for. My first choice would have been Pat Riley. I don't say that in jest. He would have been my first choice because he's a Kentucky basketball player.

Riley's also 64. As a South Carolina football fan, I would advise against this course of action.

I already like Anthony Grant. Aight? And if his hiring could, by some miracle, lead to Auburn losing its coach -- well that would just be icing for Tide fans, wouldn't it?

Tennesee fans: Jonathan Crompton will be your quarterback. Do not panic. No, see, running from the room with your hand over your ears going "Nah! Nah! Nah! I can't hear you!" is exactly the kind of thing hooper is talking about ...

The 82nd Airborne Recruiting Class is almost down to size. Houston Nutt's next job: Being named Deficit Czar for President Obama.

I will never understand the NFL Draft. Reason 1,483.

This is probably unfair. But I'm surprised Bobby Petrino knew Arkansas had running backs.

Tebow the human being. Yes, I make fun of his image as THE GREATESTEST FOOTBALL PLAYER EVERER!!!!!! But you have to respect Tebow for doing things like this. If you don't -- well, I can't help you.

Um, what about the scrimmages going on? As a blogger mostly focused on college football, I fully understand the struggle it must be for sports writers in the offseason. But, really, this is the best you can do? "Let's see, things are kind of slow, need a story ... I know! I'll go to the fashion show and ask them about South Carolina's helmet! Brilliant!" For the record, as a South Carolina fan, I think an all-black helmet would be a horrible idea because (a) It would, IMO, look dumb; and (b) Yes, by all means, when you're playing football in AUGUST AND SEPTEMBER in THE SOUTH, wear ALL-BLACK HELMETS. And if your brain isn't scrambled goo by then, just go stick your head in a deep fryer.*

*For indemnification purposes: C&F is not actually endorsing sticking your head in a deep fryer, as it would likely result in serious injury. This should go without saying, but a Clemson fan might read this, so a warning seems prudent.