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Newt Gingrich Commits to Florida

GAINESVILLE, Fla. (TSK) -- In a stunning move that could shake up both the Republican presidential race and National Signing Day, former House Speaker Newt Gingrich said Monday he had committed to the University of Florida.

"I found Will Muschamp to be a very even-tempered gentleman," Gingrich said. "Besides, when I found out that Florida State is dedicated to bureaucratic socialism and the radical teachings of Saul Alinsky, it was over."

Asked if he was concerned about the ability of Florida to rebound from a mediocre season to play for national championships, Gingrich said: "National championships are a waste of time. I'm focused on galactic championships. I mean, if we're going to be great, we have to be the best team in the solar system."

Rivals lists Gingrich as a four-start prospect at center, left guard and right guard. "Not each of them -- we really think he can play all three at the same time," said Mike Farrell of Rivals.

Former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney originally committed to the University of South Florida, but then withdrew his commitment, saying his state's Democratic legislature had forced him to agree to attend the Tampa-based school.

Texas Congressman Ron Paul has not committed to a school yet, saying that he is waiting to find a team that will operate on the gold standard for all four years.

Rick Santorum has already committed to the debate team at the University of Central Florida, saying their sweater vests are "super neat."

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Wonderful. Whichever school signs Ron Paul will obviously run the wishbone, usually to the far right :)

"Difficulties strengthen the mind, as labor does the body."
― Seneca

by NJBammer on Jan 30, 2012 3:34 PM EST reply actions  

...and they'll have to hope that the opposition doesn't declare their end zone to be sovereign territory.

"Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that." - George Carlin

by Slice of Life on Jan 30, 2012 3:39 PM EST up reply actions  

Exactly

Paul would not favor encroaching upon the territory of a sovereign, autonomous nation. Though perhaps a field goal would be an acceptable compromise.

by Pope Vanderbilt on Jan 31, 2012 10:45 AM EST up reply actions  

Gold Standard?

Sounds like Cecil Paul is doing the decision making.

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by Chekhov's Spread Gun Option on Jan 30, 2012 3:45 PM EST reply actions  

Gingrich can “play all three at the same time…” Works in a couple of hilarious directions. Intentional?

by Pope Vanderbilt on Jan 31, 2012 10:47 AM EST reply actions  

Gingrich

wanted to play kicker, but with him……

everything goes wide right.

http://collegefanatics.com/boards/

Some days, it seems like there isn't enough coffee.
Some nights, it seems like there isn't enough vodka.

by jadams4148 on Jan 31, 2012 2:55 PM EST reply actions  

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