Sprints Is Asking Marvin Austin for the Receipt // 07.26.10

It's a week for red teams, hold the defense
We'll cover Georgia and Arkansas this week in another attempt to get two teams out of the way in one week. Again, we'll try to cover all the normal features we would do with either team individually.

SECRET AGENT MEN

It could have been worded better
We didn't have time to cover this during SEC Media Days, but I wanted to make sure it got on the front page after the original reports did. Maurkice Pouncey has denied taking ... well, at least denied taking $100,000 from agents. Florida fans best hope this is just poor wordsmithing.

"I did not accept $100,000, it is an absolutely ridiculous claim. I have completely cooperated with the investigation and answered any and all questions put to me," Pouncey said in a statement released through his Gainesville attorney, M. Stephen Stanfield.

This, of course, leaves open taking any amount other than $100,000, which I don't believe is how Pouncey intended it. This is why you let the PR people write the statement and let the lawyers handle everything else. We'll chalk it down to bad writing and say Pouncey meant to deny accepting anything from agents unless it's proven otherwise.

Meanwhile in Tuscaloosa ...
Marcel Dareus / Marcell Dareus might have an alibi. He reportedly has family in South Florida, though it could depend on which part of South Florida we're talking about. If it's close to Tampa -- which Dareus sometimes lists as his hometown, according to Roll Bama Roll -- it's not a plausible one-night drive given what else we know about what was going on at the time.

But the Miami area is also home to a sizable Haitian American population, so we'll see. And all of that won't matter unless the NCAA accepts the Marvin Austin "receipt" that Dareus has, which seems like ... um ... less than a slam dunk. (I wonder if Marvin Austin accepts American Express.)

'He deals with politicians more efficiently. ... He shoots them'
Grambling coach Rod Broadway has a better, if less elegant, solution to the agent problem than Nick Saban's:

"No. 1, they should put 'em all in front of a firing squad, then shoot their ..., if you catch guys doing that stuff," Broadway said Tuesday at SWAC Media Day in Birmingham. "Because that's wrong."

Sure, the Supreme Court would probably stop you from actually doing that. But you could make a lot of agents be a lot more careful in the meantime.

All water under the bridge
UNC is apparently telling people that this will all work out in the end.

Coach Williams said the players involved would have to pay back what they received and it wouldn't be an issue for future recruits," Scott said.

No. Getting a meal from an agent at Quizno's gets repaid. Getting an all-expense-paid trip to Miami for a massive party with 30 or 40 of your closest draft-worthy friends does not get repaid. That ends your college eligibility. But thanks for playing, Tar Heels.

The Bylaw Blog is dead
The link above will take you the WordPress login page that pretty much confirms this. The author was revealed in a pointless gesture by (sadly) an LSU blog that will not be linked to by us to deny it some of the traffic bump its author obviously wanted. (No, it's not any of the LSU blogs you've ever seen cited here.)

The author of TBB was John Infante, whom I now name with the goal that Loyola Marymount's compliance office knows all college football fans are watching to see what happens. But it appears we've lost an invaluable resources at the worst possible time. Good job -- well, I would give the name of the author of the blog that revealed Infante's identity, but it appears that he is also anonymous. A spoil-sport and a hypocrite. What a combination.

Ole Miss looses its Cotton
Raymond Cotton will transfer to ... maybe South Alabama(!). Yes, that South Alabama. No, they're not very good. No, no one other than Raymond Cotton understands this. But guess what that means ...

JEREMIAH MASOLI IS COMIN' TO YOUR CITAY! MARK IT DOWN!
It's even confirmed. Well, the part about him sending his papers to Ole Miss. Beyond that ...

Nutt confirmed via text message [C&F: Of course] to The Commercial Appeal that Masoli "e-mailed us his release as I’m sure he did to several schools." ...

"Checking all avenues. I anticipated Jevon's (Snead) departure (leaving school after his junior season for this past April's NFL draft), but (Raymond) Cotton's really puts us in a bind. Will let you know if I get serious with Masoli."

He only has one year of eligibility left and can play immediately if he's in a graduate program that Ole Miss offers and Oregon doesn't. (Ole Miss offers graduate programs?) The papers apparently didn't make their way to Mississippi State, even though Dan Mullen's spread offense would appear to be a better fit than Houston Nutt's GIGGITY offense.

Or, given the suspended license charge (among many others) he faced at Oregon, he might even fit the system better at Georgia. But I digress.

Dr. Saturday calls the SEC
Don't agree with everything -- it's hard to when anyone gets so specific -- but still some good stuff there.

Les Miles should begin inseminating turkeys immediately
Vanderbilt Sports Line sees a method to the zaniness that was Robbie Caldwell's performance at SEC Media Days.

ICRC's charm offensive does two things: 1) it makes him likable and 2) it (might) give him more than a year to be the head coach.

Which is fine by me. I love the guy and want him to stay as long as possible. Though I'd stay away from any additional turkey fertilization stories if I were him.

But if this is the measuring stick ...
... he's probably gone. I see five wins as a very, very tall order for this Vanderbilt team with that schedule.

More Robbie Caldwell is shrewd talk
This time from the Senator, who points to the hire that Caldwell made to replace ... Robbie Caldwell, who has a new job from what I understand.

At least Caldwell doesn't appear as intelligent as an impregnated butterball
Which is what Mike Bianchi is doing with his continuing jihad against Vanderbilt being in the SEC. This would be a legitimate complaint if anyone thought UCF would be a viable contender for the SEC championship in the next five years or so ... which is almost as likely as Vanderbilt being a viable contender for the SEC championship in the next five years or so. Or perhaps less likely. Besides, SEC schools don't just get rid of fellow conference members.

And comparing that to Rosa Parks is the kind of careless and racially insensitive nonsense that should at least earn a columnist for any self-respecting newspaper a suspension. It's an insult to Rosa Parks and every other veteran of the Civil Rights Movement, it trivilizes their struggle, and it proves that you have lost all radio contact with the real world.

Sportsmanship is punching the wrong guy for keying your car
This story just gets better and better. Rodney Scott, he of the SEC sportsmanship award, reportedly punched the guy who keyed his car. Not true. "Rodney went after the wrong guy," according to Houston Nutt. Apologies to Elmer Johnson if we mentioned him by name on the site.

Rahim Cassell is officially a Florida commitment
We think.

SEC players can't go back to Constantinople
So Devan Downey and Wayne Chism will play for Antalya in Turkey. I would wish them luck in a more fitting language, but it's been a while since I've used my Turkish. So, good luck to both of them.

SEC's pace-of-game focus appears to be picking up steam
The NCAA is getting on board with speeding up the game.

Current rules require pitchers to start their delivery in no more than 20 seconds without runners on base. That rule remains, but an umpire will be required to monitor and enforce the time limit.

It should be noted, though it's frequently overlooked by commentators, that there is a difference between the pace or speed of the game and the length of the game. The two are related, but the idea that the best way to change the pace of the game is by cutting back on offense is ridiculous. That's the best way to change the length of the game. You can make the game go by faster without affecting offense, which is what college baseball is doing. I am not at all confident that the leadership of MLB (coughcoughBudSeligcoughcough) is progressive enough to do the same.

Eli Manning gives $1 million to Ole Miss
I'm pretty sure they'd still prefer having played in Atlanta several years ago.

The Hawk is in the Hall
It's still completely ridiculous that the Hall decided to put Andre Dawson in as an Expo; his MVP season was in Chicago and the non-strike-related division championship on his resume was with the Cubs. (Montreal won a second-half championship in the 1981 season.) And during his induction speech, Dawson "spent far more time speaking about his time with the Cubs than he did on his years with the Expos, despite the fact that his plaque features him wearing an Expos cap." Congratulations, Hall of Fame, on casting an historical absurdity in bronze.

In any case, congratulations to one of my early sports heroes on the recognition.

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