Why SEC Expansion Might Not Be Happening Soon
by Year2 on Jun 10, 2010 10:30 AM EDT
in SEC Football
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PrintMike Slive: Thank you all for coming. I've called this meeting to gauge your interest on possibly moving to the SEC.
Georgia Tech: Do you mind? I'm in the middle of a dungeon raid.
Georgia: Figures.
Slive: I don't know what that means. (clears throat) Texas and Texas A&M, you came the farthest to be here. How are you feeling?
Texas A&M: Yes.
Slive: Yes, what?
Texas A&M: Thank you for the invite. I accept.
Arkansas: Awesome! (high fives LSU)
Slive: But I didn't extend any offers yet.
Texas: Don't mind him. We're not coming. I'm too smart for your conference.
Vanderbilt: That's rich. This guy thinks he's funny.
Slive: Can't Texas A&M make his own decisions?
Texas: No. The state legislature won't let us split up, and I'm saying no. C'mon lil' brother, let's blow this joint.
Texas A&M: Yes I can. Wait, come back! Who you calling little brother?
Texas and Texas A&M leave.
Slive: All right. Virginia Tech, how are you feeling?
Virginia Tech: I'll have to ask the governor's office first. That's what got me in the ACC a few years back.
Slive: Sure thing, let's move on. Florida State?
Florida groans and signs dramatically.
Florida State: I might join, but tell me this. How many of you in the SEC currently fear the spear?
Ole Miss: Wait, what?
Florida State: I said do you FEAR THE SPEAR?
Florida: Hell no. You haven't won 10 games since 2003.
Kentucky: Seriously, even I beat you in the Music City Bowl a couple years ago.
Florida State: UNCONQUERED!
Slive: Right. While we're on the subject, Miami...
Miami: Sí, señor.
Slive: What are your thoughts?
Miami: Creo que la Florida es una niña pequeña.
Florida: I'm sorry, I can't hear you. Your crappy piped in music is echoing too loudly off all the empty seats in your rented stadium.
Mississippi State: Come now, Baxter. You know I don't speak Spanish. Ha ha, see what I did there?
Auburn: I saw it. Niiiiiice.
Alabama: Good Lord. Who gave those two permission to speak? Can we move on?
Slive: Calm down everyone. Last, but certainly not least, we've got Clemson. What is your interest level at?
Clemson: I'd be all for it. Why not make bring the Chicken Curse completely into the SEC?
South Carolina: Hey man, I beat you last season, and this is our year to win the East. You'll see.
Slive: Tennessee, you've been awfully quiet. Do you have anything to add?
Tennessee: Not since Lane Kiffin left.
Slive: Fair enough; I'm not arguing with that. Virginia Tech, did you get a hold of anyone at the governor's office?
Virginia Tech: Yeah, I did. Virginia wants to know what your lacrosse scheduling policies are.
Slive: Virginia? Lacrosse?
Miami: Estoy aburrido. ¡Vamos a la playa, caballeros!
Auburn: Oooh, it's my turn. Baxter! You know I don't...
Alabama: Shut up!
Slive: Gentlemen, it's getting a little out of hand here...
LSU: Hey, Mike. Texas just texted me the lyrics to "California Dreaming." Said it was dedicated to you.
Florida State: Wait a minute. If I join your league, do I have to change the war chant to include the S-E-C chant? Because I am not cool with that.
Slive: Um, if there are no objections, let's resume these meetings next week.
Vanderbilt: Done and done. Who's up for a game of Clue?
Alabama: I'm outta here.
Georgia Tech: Time's up. Let's do this!
Slive: But we just decided to end...
Georgia Tech: LEEEEEEROOOOOOOOY JENKIIIIINNNNSSSSSS!!!
Slive: You know what, everyone? I'll call you.
Fin.
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I would have guess Vanderbilt would have rather played scrabble....
"Sympathy has expired Longhorns" WallaceWade04
by The Voice of Reason on Jun 10, 2010 10:38 AM EDT reply actions
+ed whereever you see fit
"Sympathy has expired Longhorns" WallaceWade04
by The Voice of Reason on Jun 10, 2010 10:38 AM EDT reply actions
Hat Tip to the KSU blog
I’m glad you built off their Big 12 meetings post. Well done.
Slightly disappointed that LSU was sober.
Fake Pundit. Real Fan.
http://www.andthevalleyshook.com
Jeremy Foley would cut a bitch if FSU or Miami got an invite.
mlmintampa
UF C/O 06
http://www.alligatorarmy.com
True
But the more I think about it, the more I’m convinced that at least one of the two has to come to the SEC to make an expanded league financially viable (as in, get more money than it does now). Clemson, VT, and GT just don’t move the needle quite the same way.
Team Speed Kills
SBNation's SEC Blog
The Texas legislature is powerless to stop UT or A&M.
Always has been.
The politician that tried to block Texas or A&M from doing something either school truly wanted to do, especially for schools like Texas Tech and Baylor, would be destroyed in his next race.
The TX legislature, AT MOST, tipped a Baylor vs. Houston battle in 1991. A battle completely arranged and approved by UT, as any such matter would have to be. Baylor vs. Houston. Yawn.
Also, don’t believe Texas ever had any intention of taking Baylor to the Pac 10. That was all floated by Chip Brown, working as UT’s mouthpiece for such dirty work it can’t take to the mainstream press. By floating the Baylor over Colorado rumor, it set Texas up to say it was set to help little Baylor in the event Nebraska stayed in the B12 and all continued on as normal. As soon as it became clear Nebraska was leaving, there was Chip Brown again to say that Cal was blocking Baylor because of “religion concerns.” No one at Cal ever said a fonking thing about Baylor. They would never even have to. Texas knows that there was never any way Baylor would be allowed into the Pac 10. No one had to tell anyone that it’s so patently obvious. The whole Baylor thing was just smart UT PR, with Chip Brown happy to do the dirty work in a nice quid pro quo for his Rivals site subscriptions (which he has been shilling like crazy in between posts/tweets).
LEEEEEEROOOOOOOOY JENKIIIIINNNNSSSSSS!!!
Somebody should re-do that with the guy having a big block red “N” tattooed on his forehead.
Perfect parody, though. Well done.
Loved the Leroy Jenkins bit as well!!!
Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win.
I Corinthians 9:24
by Southern Dawg on Jun 10, 2010 5:34 PM EDT up reply actions
Awesome...
Especially these gems, which are very, very true…
Slive: Sure thing, let’s move on. Florida State?
Florida groans and signs dramatically.
Mississippi State: Come now, Baxter. You know I don’t speak Spanish. Ha ha, see what I did there?
Auburn: I saw it. Niiiiiice.
Alabama: Good Lord. Who gave those two permission to speak? Can we move on?
"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"
by Stuck in the Plains on Jun 10, 2010 12:31 PM EDT reply actions
typical 'Bama
Texas was a little head strong, he should have let A&M make his own decision
...in dixie land i'll take my stand to root for Atlanta
Since when has aTm ever made their own decision?
"Hush now, let it go now. I know it's time to go. Time to let this fall from my hands" VNV Nation, "From My Hands"
by Stuck in the Plains on Jun 10, 2010 12:39 PM EDT up reply actions
Gene Stallings, A&M board of regents member:
“”http://www.utefans.net/message.php?id=1019913" target="new">Texas A&M doesn’t need Texas."
If it were up to me
I’d like to see TAMU, Virginia Tech, West Virgnina, and Clemson. Miami would be terrible culturally, and I don’t know if some of the current members would be too happy about FSU or GT joining. Sure, there’d be some realignment, but that’d be a great conference.
Gator Bait: The first, and still the best.
Current members are not happy about the inclusion of Clemson, either.
Save UGA.
Dum spiro spero - "While I breathe, I hope"
State motto of South Carolina
by The Feathered Warrior on Jun 10, 2010 2:56 PM EDT up reply actions
I just don't see how WVU makes any sense...
…in any sense.
Geographically? No.
Historically? No.
Financially? No.
I could live with TAMU, FSU, Clemson, and Va. Tech
...just apologize for not thanking me.
Competitively? Yes. Pretty good football and basketball programs.
The rest though, I agree on.
Team Speed Kills
SBNation's SEC Blog
I bet
Tulane wishes they never left the conference, right about now…
"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog." - Bear Bryant
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