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SEC 2009 // Tim Tebow's Wikipedia Entry, c. 2070

Timothy "Tim" Richard Tebow (born August 14, 1987) is an American college football player, coach and politician who is widely regarded as the Greatest Human of Our Era.

After becoming the first sophomore to win the Heisman Trophy, Tebow saw his fame grow exponentially. It is estimated that 1 in 15 American males is named after Tebow.

Star-divide

Playing Career

Tebow was part of Florida national championship winning teams in 2006, 2008 and 2009. His teams also won the SEC title in each of those years. Tebow was awarded the Heisman Trophy in 2007 and 2009. In 2010, voters took the unusual step of giving Tebow the Trophy again, "because he's just that good." The only dissenting vote was cast by Steve Spurrier, who said he accidentally let his dog Sparky fill out his ballot for him.

After his senior season at Florida, Tebow weighed an offer to play linebacker for the Oakland Raiders. However, the loss of Tebow caused Florida's Urban Meyer to suffer a mental breakdown, as evidenced by his decision to take the head coaching position at Notre Dame. Florida asked Tebow to coach the team, a job the loyal alumnus eagerly accepted.

Coaching Career

Under Tebow, the Gators went 204-0 and won 17 consecutive national titles. Perhaps Tebow's greatest coaching victory came in the 2024 BCS National Title Game, when the team's starting quarterback was injured and the Gators took the field with a Palomino horse as their signal-caller. Blaze was 24-of-28 for 432 yards, 5 TDs and no interceptions as Florida defeated Ohio State 41-14.

Tebow left coaching after the 2026 season, saying he had accomplished enough in the field.

Post-Coaching

Tebow worked as a physician until 2040, when he was chosen by Florida Gov. John Brantley to take an unfilled Senate seat. Tebow later won re-election to the seat. He was chosen as Senate Majority Leader and Senate Minority Leader in 2044.

Presidency

Elected in a nearly-unanimous electoral college victory -- South Carolina was the only state to oppose him -- In the 2048 elections, Tebow began his presidency the following January. Within weeks, he won passage of health care reform, an overhaul of the nation's environmental laws and an agreement to halt partisan attacks.

World peace was achieved in the "Tebow Treaty of 2051." Since then, all international disputes have been resolved by the United Nations or, if that body cannot succeed, Tim Tebow.

Tebow vetoed efforts in 2053 to rename the state of Florida "Tebowvania," but the veto was overridden by Congress.

Post-Presidency

After his presidency, Tebow returned to the life as a doctor he always said he loved. In 2059, Tebow was hailed for discovering a cure for cancer. Tebow was also instrumental in guiding scientists toward a cure for AIDS but played down his own role, saying "I had to leave something easy for the amateurs."

Tebow was eventually awarded the Nobel Prizes in Physics, Chemistry, Literature, Medicine, Economics and Peace. He was not awarded the Peace Prize unanimously because of a reported voting mistake by academy member Sven Spurriersson.

[Tim Tebow's Real Wikipedia Entry]

--

MONDAY: Florida's Song Remains the Same; The Connnectedness of Florida's Heisman Winners
TUESDAY:
The Underdogs Florida Will Face; Don't Miss Tebow's Last Year
WEDNESDAY: Meet the New Gators, Same as the Old Gators; Gator Coaching Staff Changes Should Not Be Overlooked
LATER TODAY: Predictions
FRIDAY: Feedback and Conclusions

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Glorious

And plausible.

If ESPN goes that gaga over Timmy, just imagine what CNN would do.

Tonite at 9 an interview with President Tebow hosted by the cryogenically frozen corpse of 190 year old legendary broadcaster Larry King.

Behold, this year's College Gameday Sign:

"Joe Cox -- He circumcises ANGELS!"

by RedCrake on Aug 13, 2009 1:14 PM EDT reply actions  

Larry King

So, Larry King stops aging in 2012? Is that why the Aztecs or Mayans or whoever stopped counting on the calendar?

The dude abides.

by imarealist on Aug 13, 2009 1:28 PM EDT reply actions  

1 in 15 American males named after him?

I’m not buying that. It’s not like nobody ever names their kid Tim or Timothy because they just like the name.

by jsholt969 on Aug 13, 2009 2:30 PM EDT reply actions  

Have to get up pretty early in the morning to get one by jsholt

You think that one part about 1 in 15 American males might be inaccurate, huh?

by GwinnettGamecock on Aug 13, 2009 3:05 PM EDT reply actions  

didn't read the rest of it. haha

just noticed that one line as I was skimming over the posts. guess i need to read a bit more next time on that one. haha.

by jsholt969 on Aug 13, 2009 7:32 PM EDT up reply actions  

You forgot to mention the cancer cure...

was Tebow’s blood. His tears are currently being studied and are believed to reverse aging and male pattern baldness.

by TexasAUtiger on Aug 17, 2009 11:44 AM EDT reply actions  

But Tebow doesn't bleed.

Nothing can pierce his skin. Besides, we all know he was ice water in his veins, so why can’t he just sign cancer patients up for the polar bear diving thing?

by bdalebs on Aug 18, 2009 6:05 PM EDT up reply actions  

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