Sprints Wanted to Make the Coaches' All-SEC Team // 07.17.09

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Sprints will not appear next week and will return Tuesday, July 28.]

Coaches' All-SEC team revealed; everyone pissed. The SEC coaches released their All-SEC team Thursday. It landed with a resounding thud.

First, the particulars. Florida's 16 selections are tops in the league, as are the Gators' eight first-teamers. Alabama is next with six starters and LSU has three. The Bengals have 10 total picks; Alabama and Georgia tie for third with nine.

Your unanimous selections are LSU's Ciron Black, Alabama's Julio Jones, Tennessee's Eric Berry and Florida's Tim Te--

What?

Suspicion for the snub immediately fell on -- oh, you know who. And it's a good theory, at least if the process of elimination is to be believed. Gator Clause eliminates Mark Richt (too classy) and Houston Nutt (not allowed to vote for Snead). Swamp Things crosses out Spurrier (voted for the Golden Tebow for Heisman) and Dan Mullen (worked with Tebow at Florida).

Other complaints abounded. Chris Low was so infuriated by Richard Dickson beating out D.J. Williams for first team that he temporarily refused to acknowledge it. (Although he called it a "mistake" -- a likely story.)

Orson shreds the decision to split third-team honors between Stephen Garcia and Mike Hartline. I differ with him a bit: I think Jordan Jefferson's limited performance last year doesn't show that he's clearly a step ahead of either Garcia or Hartline, and I can make a somewhat weak case for naming Garcia third-string. I don't see how anyone chooses Hartline without literally throwing a dart at a list of QB names.

Joe Person argues (reasonably) that Darian Stewart should have at least made the defensive depth chart.

And he rest of the SEC should be afraid: It made Mississippi State angry. Dan Mullen:

I think it'll be a motivator for us to only have two guys make the team and no one on the first team.

Um, Danny, that might be because your new team went 4-8 last year. 

The strange case of Nick Lamaison.The circus that is Tennessee's search for a starting quarterback for 2010 added another ring Thursday with the on-again, off-again transfer of Nick Lamaison.

Old CW: Problem solved as JUCO QB Nick Lamaison decides to join Tennessee. New CW: Never mind.

Rocky Top Talk tries to figure out what it all means, and comes to two solid conclusions: 1) The coaching staff doesn't want to send the wrong signals to Jesse Scroggins; 2) Tennessee apparently doesn't have to worry about a backup plan if Scroggins goes to Southern Cal or (less likely) Florida.

Meanwhile, Scroggins sticks to his July 25 announcement date. While this is probably good news for Tennessee, the fact that the announcement isn't coming earlier in the week shows that Lane Kiffin either doesn't know or doesn't like the outcome. Otherwise, a media master like Boy Wonder would have scheduled the announcement for Tuesday, giving him an opportunity to crow about it during SEC Media Days.

Sometimes, a 'not unhappy ending' is all you can ask for
Jeremy Jarmon goes to Washington in the 3rd round of the NFL Supplemental Draft. Because of the rules of the supplemental (you lose the corresponding pick in the following draft), he's still the only player taken despite being a third-rounder.

Matt Humphrey knows for a fact that Urban Meyer will end up as head coach at Notre Dame
Otherwise, his Swamp Things post needs a new headline.

Dr. Saturday succinctly points out the problem coaches face in these situations.

If you don't vehemently deny unsourced, idle gossip that you're itching to return to your roots, rivals start feeding your most prized recruits rumors that "there will be coaching changes," and the speculation flourishes in the press. If you do issue the strongest, most far-reaching denial you can manage in polite conversation, everyone assumes that coaches lie about career plans as a matter of course, and the speculation flourishes in the press.

Not that coaches -- including Meyer -- haven't put themselves in that situation. But if we're not going to believe them no matter what they say, isn't asking the question a waste of time?

At least Tony Barnhart believes him, in part because "the man is not stupid." Barnhart said it, not me.

Meyer's comments on his old coaching gig are another matter
Take what you will from this: "The Utah team (last) year and the Utah team we had in '04, I don't think they can survive the grind of the SEC.

"But there are other conferences out there who can't survive the grind, either. I can't disagree. ... To tell me (Kyle Whittingham is) not a BCS coach or those aren't BCS players, that's not true."

Utah fans are unhappy with their former coach.

What's more, does anyone really think Utah would have done worse than Florida with this schedule last year ...

A great question. After all, did anyone really think that Utah would beat Alaba-- oh, that's right.

We're getting into semantics now
Swamp Things reports on what is "technically" the 25th Florida player "arrested" under Urban Meyer. Who cares if the case of LB Dustin Doe makes them stretch a little bit?

Technically this case can be classified as an arrest, though Doe wasn't booked into jail. It's a criminal case with a notice to appear in trial. Under that stipulation, Doe is the fifth Gator arrested in 2009. The well-circulated number of arrests under Urban Meyer would increase to 25.

On the bright side for Gators fans, this is still one fewer arrest than the number of quarterback recruits who have turned down the Vols this year.

The Chaz Ramsey case goes to court
He's suing a couple of former Auburn employees but not Auburn itself. The response from Hugh Nall is heavily based on his having coached for 24 years. Ramsey hurt his back and says that the drills he was ordered to do while still recovering, and not the injury itself, ended his college career.

But Alabama fans expect limited schadenfreude.

There may be some headlines for a while, but I imagine the claims end up either being baseless or, if legitimate, an out-of-court settlement complete with a rigid confidentiality agreement will result.

That doesn't mean we can't hope for a full-blown court hearing, with the offensive staff and Tony Franklin finally forced to tell their stories under oath.

Alabama loses its Fanney
Yeah, cheap name jokes are in. Anyway, Brandon Fanney is leaving Alabama, something Roll Bama Roll terms a "mild surprise."

Eric Berry needs to think before engaging metaphor
One of the great unfinished sentences of the offseason comes from the Tennessee safety's reaction to Tim Tebow calling him the league's best player.

"If he is Superman -- make that Batman, then I am Robin," Berry said.

Go ahead and finish the first one. "I am Lois Lane," maybe?

The Biggest Losers
Almost every veteran Tennessee offensive lineman is counting the calories this year. Good for the coaches and the players -- even if the reason is purely mercenary.

Bobby Petrino's response: 'Who cares?'
Track Em Tigers ponders how long it takes "to build a program in the SEC."

I would vote for them
Blutarsky raises the possibility of an undefeated BYU making the BCS National Championship Game. If they go undefeated with that slate, and there are fewer than two undefeated BCS teams, I can't see how you could deny them. An undefeated team from one of the Big Five and an undefeated Big East champ makes it a close call.

Exasperated or worried?
The colorful attorney for Renardo Sidney says the NCAA investigation into the Mississippi State basketball recruit has turned into "an unbridled fishing expedition with no apparent end in sight." There are usually two reasons to call something a fishing expedition: Either it is a fishing expedition, or it's the equivalent of saying, "Oh -- I didn't think they'd ask for that. Now we're screwed."

And where there's a Don Jackson quote ...
The NCAA says the lawyer has some of his facts wrong. This could go on forever. Maybe someone should remind the "adults" that a students' future hangs in the balance here.

It's Comcastic
More funding for SB Nation -- of which we are a part, in case you hadn't noticed. 

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