[SCENE: LES MILES, head coach of the LSU Tigers, sits in the dark on a late afternoon, hunched behind his desk. GARY CROWTON, offensive coordinator, stands a few feet away. The mood is obviously gloomy.]
LES MILES: [Sighs.] Whatever happened to me, Gary? I used to be the guy. "The One." I was all over the place. I was the one made fun of for calling out every football conference in America and Hayley Lafontaine.
GARY CROWTON: Yes, sir.
LES MILES: I used to be the one they all clamored to hear. They wanted me to speak, to say something. And then they started following the new guy in town.
GARY CROWTON: You mean La--
LES MILES: Gary! What did I tell you about bringing up that name?
GARY CROWTON: Sorry, sir. Won't happen again.
LES MILES: I used to be a star, Gary. A star. [He brushes his eyes, pretending he's doing anything other than wiping away a tear.] Now, all the headlines are about him.
GARY CROWTON: We're talking about Coach Ki--
LES MILES: GARY!
GARY CROWTON: Right.
LES MILES: [Rising from his chair.] You know what I need? Another carton of bonbons.
GARY CROWTON: But, sir, you've already had three.
LES MILES: [Stares at CROWTON for a minute.] You're right. Time to stop moping around. Screw the world! Screw the reporters! Who needs them anyway? That's what Bo used to say!
GARY CROWTON: That's the spirit, sir.
LES MILES: I know I'm still important! I'm still the coach of LSfreakingU!
[The intercom beeps.]
SECRETARY: Coach Miles, it's Chris Low for you.
[MILES perks up instantly.]
LES MILES: Great, great. Transfer him right over. Did he say what he wants to talk about?
SECRETARY: Yes, sir. He said he's calling for your reaction to Lane Kiffin ...