SEC 2009 // The Tennessee Coaches Meet

[A conference room at the Tennessee athletics complex. The coaches are seated around a long table, large stacks of hundred dollar bills in front of each of them.]

LANE KIFFIN: I see you all picked up your pay this week. Okay, let's talk about preparations for the upcoming season. Let me hear about the defense.

[Silence.]

LANE KIFFIN: Dad?

MONTE KIFFIN: ZZZZZZZZ.

LANE KIFFIN: Will somebody wake him up?

ED ORGERON: I ain' gon' do it. Last time I wake him up, he t'reaten to do what he did to some Injun many yeah back.

LANE KIFFIN: What?

JIM CHANEY: On the offensive side of the ba --

LANE KIFFIN: CHANEY! QUIET! What did I tell you about talking?

JIM CHANEY: But --

LANE KIFFIN: Shhhhh. I also hope none of you are forgetting to prepare for Alabama, because I assure that what's Nick Saban is up to right now.

LANCE THOMPSON [mumbling]: Ingrateful b------.

MONTE KIFFIN: [Wakes up suddenly.] Who are all you? GET OFF MY LAWN!

LANE KIFFIN: Dad, it's me and the rest of the coaches. We're just --

MONTE KIFFIN: Who? [Recognition begins to creep in.] Hey! You're that stupid brat on television that won't ever shut up!

LANE KIFFIN: Something like that. Just go back to sleep, dad. How's RECRUITING going?

ED ORGERON: We gon' fin' us one fantastic qua'te'back. Gon' get in my Hummeh and track one down, huntin' trough de bayou if I have to.

LANE KIFFIN: Are we after a quarterback or an alligator?

ED ORGERON: Could always call Bren' Schaeffeh, see if he still got any eligibility.

LANE KIFFIN: Um, let's pass on that one. Reaves?

DAVID REAVES: I continue to follow Steve Spurrier through the GPS chip implanted in his visor. Then, we'll figure out the best players, he's recruiting, and I'll tell them I came here because I want one of these. [Holds up a Super Bowl ring.]

MONTE KIFFIN: Hey, where did my ring go?

[DAVID REAVES begins whistling innocently.]

LANE KIFFIN: Okay, that's enough. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to get ready for a press conference. [Approaches a dart board on the other side of the room, pulls a dart off of it, then throws the dart back.] Ah, it's Rich Brooks' turn. This is going to be fun. [He leaves.]

FIN

X
Log In Sign Up

forgot?
Log In Sign Up

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior users will need to choose a permanent username, along with a new password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

I already have a Vox Media account!

Verify Vox Media account

Please login to your Vox Media account. This account will be linked to your previously existing Eater account.

Please choose a new SB Nation username and password

As part of the new SB Nation launch, prior MT authors will need to choose a new username and password.

Your username will be used to login to SB Nation going forward.

Forgot password?

We'll email you a reset link.

If you signed up using a 3rd party account like Facebook or Twitter, please login with it instead.

Forgot password?

Try another email?

Almost done,

By becoming a registered user, you are also agreeing to our Terms and confirming that you have read our Privacy Policy.

Join Team Speed Kills

You must be a member of Team Speed Kills to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Team Speed Kills. You should read them.

Join Team Speed Kills

You must be a member of Team Speed Kills to participate.

We have our own Community Guidelines at Team Speed Kills. You should read them.

Spinner.vc97ec6e

Authenticating

Great!

Choose an available username to complete sign up.

In order to provide our users with a better overall experience, we ask for more information from Facebook when using it to login so that we can learn more about our audience and provide you with the best possible experience. We do not store specific user data and the sharing of it is not required to login with Facebook.

tracking_pixel_9341_tracker