1. Florida
The Death Star of College Football is almost complete, and unless Obi-Wan Kenickbi can teach Luke Skyparker Wilson how to use the force, the Gators are headed to Miami.

2. Alabama
Saban gets a bye week to plot for the end of Auburn dominance. If he loses, it should be a fun time to watch the goings-on in T-Town.

3. Georgia
Mark Richt is petitioning the NCAA to grant Reggie Ball another year of eligibility.

4 (tie). Mississippi
4 (tie). South Carolina
4 (tie). LSU

Actually, this isn't fair, because Mississippi looks good enough to beat South Caro ... what's that you say? Oh, the Gamecocks defeated them at home. Well, maybe South Carolina should then get this spo ... what's that you say? South Carolina lost to LSU at home. Hmm. Well, maybe we should make LSU the No. 4 team in the SE ... what's that you say? LSU lost to Ole Miss at home. Why does this suddenly feel like the ACC?

7. Kentucky
They haven't lost to Tennessee yet. For now, that's just enough to keep them ahead of Vanderbilt.

8. Auburn
Vanderbilt's performance against Auburn looks to be an outlier only a few standard deviations closer to normal than the Dores' victory over South Carolina.

9. Vanderbilt
Tennessee defeated you. Yeah, yeah, that might seem like "just another year" to you, but more was expected this time.

10. Tennessee
Head to head, schmead to schmead. You're still awful.

11. Mississippi State
Sigh. The one thing we were getting used to was that Mississippi State and Tennessee would battle it out for the right to be the worst. And the Bulldogs go and win.

12. Arkansas
Allowing Mississippi State to score 31 = COLOSSAL FAIL.